All these fake people pretending to be my "friend". Please don't waste my time. I am glad we were not close friends or else this might actually hurt my feelings more than piss me off. I tell you about a girl I HAD feelings for, I introduce you to said girl and what do you do? You freaking hit on her and try to get with her? Lets be serious, never in a million years I never would have thought you would do something like that. I guess I was wrong and you're just a bigger loser than I thought. Just cause she got money and shes successful you got to try to get with her so you can feel better about your miserable existence? Whatever man....and as for you I can't even believe you would even fall for all these none sense. You are definitely smarter than that but you know what whatever. You say you were always honest with me? I definitely do not believe that and I am definitely suspect of what was discussed and is still being discussed between the both of you.
So my new thing that a certain someone got me to finally acknowledge is that I over analyze things too much. I guess when I was working a lot that my job intruded into my life. I began living my life like I do my job and that's to analyze every thing! Now I am just doing me and not thinking about anything anymore! If things were meant to be, they were meant to be, just let it happen. As for me, I am pretty content with how life is going right now. Work is good, friends are cool and I am definitely reconnecting with people I began to neglect. Either today or by the end of this week I will be an uncle. Wow I would have never imagined that! Seems like 2009 may be my year. There is a lot going on and I am just enjoying the ride. My Vegas trip is coming up next week. It's definitely going to be a crazy time and outrageously ridiculous. Then after that is my cousins wedding which will also be a crazy time. Just so much going on and I am just hoping I can make it through all of it. I am definitely having fun now, that's for sure. Oh and Shey all day I see you and thank you for kicking my ass when I need it!
"I see ya running like a track meet
With your baton saying catch me
Baby don't be scared (don't be scared)
I'm all up on you like a monster truck
I'm all up on you like shorty what's up
I'm all up on you like a white tee on a thug
If you can hear me baby put your hands up"
oh yea get that Love vs. Money album!
It was quite refreshing. The weather has been unusually warm in NY. Skating in the rain or being in the rain in general was a welcome feeling. I actually felt quite refreshed after it. I've been stressed out a lot lately. With work and trying to study for my GMAT which is tomorrow at 8AM, I have just been mentally exhausted. Physically I feel amazing, as I have been losing weight and feeling and looking much better. I cannot wait till tomorrow when I take this test. Hopefully I feel like a great load has been lifted off my shoulders. Once this huge thing is complete and hopefully I do well I have no where to go but up. Got my trip coming up and nothing else on the horizon. I can go back to focusing 100% of my time on work. The Spring for me is really going to be a good time for me. A lot of things had died and disappeared for me this past Winter. Every thing will be new and fresh come Spring and I am definitely looking forward to it.
The snow was not bad at all! I actually enjoyed frolicking through it lol! The shoveling was not bad either because we used a snow blower and I got to leave work early!
I have come to the realization that the more I try to make my life simple it just gets more complicated. I guess it's just how I think about every thing and just cant put my mind to sleep. However, I refuse to accept things as is. I feel like every thing should have an explanation, a reason as to why it is. I refuse to accept that some times things cannot be explained. That things can just be.
Some things going on with me in no particular order.
10. Working out has gotten my mind right and focused.
9. Playing COD:WaW Zombies is hella fun with D.
8. I am addicted to shopping.
7. CRAZY excited for my Vegas trip.
6. Skating again brings me back to the good old days.
5. GMAT studying and grad school apps are killing me.
4. Kiss Me Thru The Phone - Souljah Boy is my jam right now.
3. Greatly anticipating Spring.
2. Wishing I was still 14 years old listening to Ja Rule and playing handball at the park.
1. Hate the 2,3 line. Thanks for always being delayed or messed up in some way in the AM.
I for once am excited for the season to start. New stadium and some nice roster changes have me feeling good about the Mets this year. The past two years have been brutal for Met fans. Watching not one, but two collapses is just terrible to watch. They were neither quick or short. They were slow, painfully dragged out debacles. Please Mets do not do it again. I would like to have some thing left of my sanity after this season.
As for me, I am doing good. Just working, studying for my GMAT and chillen. Got the trip to Vegas all planned out and it should be a ridiculous time there. I love being out there. Vegas puts me in such a different state of mind. It's funny though I could never live there but I definitely do not mind going out there for a week or a weekend.
Lately I have just been in this thinking mind set. Just thinking about my life and things in general. I just wanted to get a gauge of where I stood, how I felt about myself and where I was heading. When I look back, I realized I never appreciate the small things in my life that keep me going. In my forward thinking, I was always thinking about the "big" things that can come along. All the while, I chose to ignore that "little things come in small packages". From the joy I get from acting a fool while playing xbox or how good it feels to breath the air in the morning on my walks to the train station. Every little thing that I do, whether I am aware of it or not contribute to who I am. There are a lot of things in my past that I miss, I will not deny that. However I will not regret any decisions I have made or anything that has happened. Things happen for a reason and life is too short to regret things that you cannot change. I do appreciate whatever piece of me that was contributed by those decisions and events. I have come to accept that things happen for a reason and if it was meant to be, it will be, some way and some how. My mind will not let me forget that even if you pray for something...... Your prayer may be answered but not in the way you expect but guaranteed it will always be for the best, you just have to understand why.
So with this economy everyone is struggling in one way or the other. The stress of work and personal life have taken a lot out of me. I am finally on the rebound and I figure I should invest in myself. Fix myself and make myself better before I go back out there and try to get involved with someone else. For some folks, please do not take it personally if I can't return your call right away or answer your email. It's nothing personal and after it all, I hope the end result will be a new and improved me. One that is more educated, understanding and patient person. I am in a point of my life where I need to really take a deep look within myself and figure out if this is what I really am all about.
